I proceeded to pull out my wallet and make small talk with the cashier. I see that you have to read children's books, she said. I smiled back at her and told her yes, a handful of them. She seemed to think this was odd, that this was some sort of trial. She had an almost sympathetic look on her face as she rung me up.
I settled into bed one night and grabbed my "homework". It took a few hours to read through this chapter book, The Great Gilly Hopkins.
If you never had the chance to read it as a child, the main character is a child in the foster care system. She idolizes an absent mother and shuns anyone who tries to get close to her. A bright child and a manipulator, she is used to leaving a trail of frustrated tears where ever she is placed, and this satisfies her. It keeps her safe, as if she lets no one in, she cannot be hurt.
The foster home she is placed in during the story is perhaps the most loving, accepting home she had ever been in. Maime Trotter, her caretaker, shows Gilly all of her good qualities without giving attention to the bad ones, which effectively shows Gilly that she cannot push this person away, that she can trust her to be a source of unconditional love. This woman and her bizarre family open Gilly's heart, and give her a safe haven for once in her short eleven years of life.
And then? She is taken away from that home, and sent to live with the grandmother she has never known. This is how the book ends. Gilly does not want to leave what she sees as a final chance at happiness, but she is forced to go, and then forced to confront the reality that her biological mother (her idol, perfect in her eyes) doesn't want her.
I was beginning to forget how much a young child really understands about life, and how similar they are to the rest of us in what they can be taught. The message hit me hard, and it's a lesson I want to share, as I think it can apply to all of us:
Happiness is not the lack of pain.
In the words of Maime Trotter,
"Sometimes in this world, things come easy, and you tend to lean back and say 'Well, happy ending. This is the way things is supposed to be.' Like life owed you good things... but you just fool yourself if you expect good things all the time."
"If life is so bad, how come you're so happy?" Gilly questions.
"Did I say bad? I said it was tough."
Happiness cannot be a lack of hardship, or surely none of us would ever be happy. In the words of the Bible, it rains on rich and poor, on all of us. But should that harden our hearts? Gilly tries that, and it only ended up hurting her in the end. It takes nearly every kind person she meets, little by little, to make her realize that even if her mother did not want her, she was still wanted. That's something we tend to forget. We are not meant to endure hardships alone, but we will if we insist on our unlikability.
These are the lessons I took from this book. A harsh reality and an enduring, kind truth.
